Her lit smile flirts heavily with the laughter that she currently has engaged at full volume. As you notice her when you walk by the place where she takes on the world, it seems that the whole planet exists just to hold her up. Thick confidence drips from each and every movement of her body and it is obvious that she owns everyone with a simple glance in their direction. As she works her small crowd with ease, you can’t help but stare…and if you are honest, you probably wish, for just a moment, you had a small taste of what it is like to be her.
but as she sat across from me,
I held her eyes longer than she’d like,
seeing more than she wanted on display for anyone…
The truth is…she sits alone, even when surrounded by adoring people on every side. What no one else has figured out yet is that she draws on the energy of everything around her in an effort to blind prying eyes from what doesn’t shine anymore. She needs the crowd…not for companionship, but to hide from what screams up and out from her own mind. Scarred and broken, every beat of her heart reminds her of all she isn’t and she would rather die than continue to breathe…but she breathes again because she has no choice: the audience is still watching and she isn’t the kind to force the curtain down.
She knows I know.
She knows she has been truly seen
and I wonder, deep down, if she will run because I got in…
…but as she left, I whispered that I love her
and I smiled when she said she loved me too.
…as she walked away, I cried and prayed that for just a moment,
I could help her to see what she is blinded to.
…that while the beauty born of shadow is often the most challenging to endure,
it is always the most endearing one to all who find it.
Looking up, as always…