In an effort to be fully honest, this morning…as I reached up for His hand from where I had lost sight of absolute truth, He was very honest with me about where my heart had been hiding after I looked away from Him. (that post can be found by clicking here)
I had to deal with that conversation as He carried me back to the boat…but had to “deal with it” in a way that broke my heart as I realized how I had broken His because I had not trusted Him to be my everything.
I had forgotten that my love for Him is shown thru obedience…not thru sacrifice or offerings, but just plain obedience (Jeremiah 7:22-23)…and when I get so wrapped up in what I am doing for or giving to the Lord, I am losing sight of the fact that I am called simply to obey…because I love Him…and nothing more.
So I posted what I did about sinking in the waves…but as I read this post this morning, I realized that I needed to confront the truth too:
I have cheated on my First Love…over and over…and that hurts my heart MORE than the fact that I sank in some water.
I am so thankful for His love…grace…and mercy…that tenderly lifts this sinner up into arms she doesn’t deserve so she can be carried to a boat that keeps her safe.
What a might God we serve!!
I drove down the freeway, the intense anger a cover-up for deep pain. I began to talk to the Lord about the situation.
Well, actually, I yelled, and pounded on my steering wheel.
“HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU KNOW WHAT I’M FEELING? HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE AN UNFAITHFUL SPOUSE? YOU NEVER EVEN DATED ANYONE???”
I felt sort of “ripped off”. It didn’t seem fair that Jesus didn’t have to go through he headaches and heartaches of marriage. How could He possibly understand what it’s like to be married?
In the midst of my angry outburst, He spoke, His voice soft and gentle:
“Tami, who is my bride?”
Stunned, I thought for a moment, then said, “The church.”
“Yes. Where is she, and what is she doing?”
I began to consider His point.
Jesus claimed the church – us believers…
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