Being A Woman, Ginny Owens, Lessons Learned, Me, photos, Poetry, Writing

explain it to me

i don’t know how you do what you do

how your stare can travel over the miles

and nail me to the ground where i stand

you can turn your eye my direction

after so long closed

and i feel guilty for looking away

you were the one who left me

as my heart bled out into my hands

but somehow the way you turned your back

left me feeling as though i had more to prove

more to do and more to be

i don’t understand why it matters anymore

coming back to the pointย where we left off

trying to move forward

when what there was of us died

before it ever had a chance to really live

explain it to me

because i stand here,

my mind swirling in the circus of memories,

unsure of how to feel

just explain it, please

because i try and try to figure you out

but it seems that the more i try

the more i lose who i am

Inspiration flows as I listen to

“Rain” by Ginny Owens on this late night.

{the thing I have always loved about poetry is that it gives my heart a language to speak with.ย  the rules are there are no rules…and expression is completely loosed. no one else really knows for sure what is being said, even when the words seem totally clear, and so it gives the ability to hide while standing right in front of you.ย  i love poetry…and i hope you don’t mind that I let my heart do the talking from time to time.}

Looking up, as always…

Bina

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18 thoughts on “explain it to me”

  1. yep..heavy emotions in here..what hit me hardest was that part…
    because i try and try to figure you out
    but it seems that the more i try
    the more i lose who i am…. that’s def. not the way it should be… there’s one song that i like much and it says: i found myself in your eyes… love is always much about finding…

    1. You are so right…the ones who matter most in my life are the ones that carry a part of my soul in their eyes.
      This was about me, an hurt years old…but also about a person I love is who is suffering from the same type of injury right now…funny how it can all spill out when we finally let it, eh??

  2. Hi Bina, thanks for dropping by and commenting over at my place …

    I remember the swirling days-
    …just explain it, please
    because i try and try to figure you out
    but it seems that the more i try
    the more i lose who i am.

    Yeah, trying to figure others out is surely the road to loss of self.
    I’ll leave that to the powers that be, and walk on.

    Love your raw heart.

    1. Hi Dawn ๐Ÿ™‚
      The hard part of letting others into my heart is that once they are in…they are in, for better AND for worse. Can be hard to seperate ourselves from those we allow ourselves to cling to…
      Thanks for returning the drop by.

  3. First time here, thanks to dverse! Bina, you tap some deep emotions with this piece – so deep, in fact, that italicizing “me” was not necessary (just a thought, and meant as a compliment – hope it’s taken that way!). There is always a part of us that’s torn off, a bit of the soul, when love is lost, no matter who does the leaving. For me, that was the hardest part of any breakup – the “we” of us being torn in two… Thanks, Amy Barlow Liberatore
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/07/14/houseguest-pest-trifecta/

    1. Hi Amy ๐Ÿ™‚

      haha – I get you on the italicizing. I did it because that is how I heard it in my head, but I can see that it is implied. Thanks for your comments, tho…poetry can be a touchy point for me as mine is so close to my heart that I feel naked when I post it…so kind words help soothe the vulnerability. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Am so excited about dverse!! Thanks for popping over.

  4. wicked close on the end of this…great depth of feeling…a rather helpless place trying to figure it out and all the while feeling like you are losing more of yourself….very real…and honest feelings too….written well….glad you foudn us at dverse…just got off work so sorry i am late…smiles.

    1. So often I censor myself…here, I chose not to. *nervous smile*

      Thank you for the welcome and feedback…means a lot. Looking forward to meeting more people.

  5. I’m not really sure anyone could explain it. You portray this struggle well. It’s hard to break the “circus of memories” when there are still so many questions and no obvious answers.

    1. You are right – it is unexplainable…but that is the depth of humanity: always seeking answers for those things that just don’t have one.

      Thanks for taking time to comment – I appreciate it.

  6. The more I try to explain… The more I lose who I am… ~ I know what you mean!!!
    I feel for you in this poem, a stare that haunts you and hunts you down…
    I also tend to “hear” my poems and use the sound in the form, in the way I write…
    Glad to get to know you (got here thru dVerse)… Will read more when I have a chance.
    Smiles ๐Ÿ™‚

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