with eyes dimmed, closed
so desperate to be clear
desperate to finally see
with a heart trampled, bleeding
aching to just feel seen
just to feel at all
as a fallen vessel, poured out
wanting only to let go of me
only to take hold of You.
as a girl who believes, seeks
laying before the Throne
i simply come…and wait
A Sunday evening service…and a few days to chew on it all.
A discussion on whether God is unfair for daring to be sovereign.
A look at my own desire to dictate to Him what is and is not fair based on my own skewed viewpoint…
…a viewpoint that sees only my own comfort
…a viewpoint that can’t see past the here and now where my pain stands against me
…a viewpoint that negates the wonder of grace in the mix of complexity battling
…a viewpoint that I realize isn’t His.
Surrender falls bittersweet on a heart broken for Him.
Looking up, as always…