God, Me, Retreat, TedDekker, Tosca Lee

Chaos Run Amuck ~retreat, part 2~

Confession time: I am one of “those” people.

You know the ones.

They are the reason that People magazine exists and paparazzi gets paid the big bucks for photos of a celebrity looking fat, angry or unattractive.  They love to know what goes on in the life of a famous person and, when lucky enough to be in the presence of greatness, create purpose in all those big, burly security men paid big bucks to look scary.

I can’t help it.

Normally, I understand what “this is your dance space, this is my dance space” means (and if you are scratching your head at that phrase, well…I just don’t know).  I don’t usually blurt out inappropriate phrases and I very rarely giggle while my eyes get all big…and creepy…and highlighted by something like obsessiveness when certain people walk thru the door.  Seriously.  Normally…I am normal. (…or at least as normal as a gal like me can be…)

But when God gave me life…He marked my forehead “one of them” and sent me off to live in this celebrity driven world.  So, now when I get the chance to actually SEE someone famous, I know it is a small gift to fill that little part of me deep within and I thank God for the chance.  What I don’t usually appreciate is His humor that places me in close proximity of famous~ness but without the dignity of favorable circumstances.

Kobe Bryant – Yup…made him think I was totally vacant headed as I stared oddly at him for almost a full minute

This was mainly because he just happened to walk his tall self into the space I was just zoning off into and it took me that long to realize that there were brown eyes in the space that had just been a door frame moments before. Kinda more his fault than mine, if you ask me.

Jackie Chan – yeah, I got to run him over.  Not with a car, oh no…that would’ve been too easy.  I got the extreme pleasure of tackling him with my body while trying to get into the bathroom at a crowded rest-stop between Cali and Vegas.

I didn’t know who he was other than a short guy in front of me and I was moving at a fast pace.  He suddenly decided he didn’t need to go and turned quickly to leave, I didn’t realize he was stopping and BAM. Again…his fault.

Brad Paisley – stepped on and tripped over him.

We got to be seat fillers at the country music awards one year and when the seats we were led to were already filled, the gal who was in charge said “Quick. Turn around and go back where we came from.” I turned quickly and stepped forward only to find myself falling forward and grabbing a handful of leather.  By the time I realized Brad had kept me from falling and was asking me if I was ok, I was already staring into his eyes and thinking “I didn’t realize he was so tall…or handsome”. I’ll take the blame on this one…

So …you can understand why I asked God to give me a chance to meet someone of the famous variety NORMALLY.  He laughed to Himself, told heaven “watch this” and then led Tosca Lee and Ted Dekker to California for a book signing.


They had no idea.

It started out ok.  They did a question/answer segment and Ted called on me to answer a question and made fun of me.  It was great.  When I got in line to have my book signed, Tosca looked at my name written on the paper (so they knew how to spell it) and recognized me from my Havah poem. (I tweeted it to her…she re-tweeted it to her followers…a fan’s biggest dream, yes.) She said “Bina, like the poem Bina?”

I know. Angels were singing.

She made it  even better when she said “Ted, she wrote that poem.” He said it was a great poem. I worked hard not to scream.

It could have ended then and there…I would’ve been so happy…so great.


Tosca then got up to hug me.

Big mistake. 

As my arms involuntarily closed tighter around her body, something inside screamed “let go!” as I held her just a wee little bit too long.  And then, when I heard myself whispering “I love you” into her ear, even *I* thought “what the…???”

She was amazing and even said it back to me (sweet gal, that one)…but it was when I admitted to Ted that I drove to the store in my PJs just to take a pic of his book because he tweeted me asking which book I saw and then took that as permission to steal a hug from him (who, for his part, was very gracious)…yeah, I think I topped even myself.

As I sat back in the car a few minutes later, sunning myself in the afterglow of chaos run amuck…it hit me, all that I had just done…and God said “See, I told you.  You can’t do normal.”



So why do I share all this humiliation publicly, you ask?

This weekend, I spoke on Saturday morning to 85 amazing women and my topic was “From a Nobody to a Somebody”…and as sad as I have to agree that I am, this is a great illustration of the joy of being known.

You see, when Tosca knew my name, for a moment…I was somebody.  I wasn’t just one of a hundred fans in a Barnes and Noble. No, I was Bina.  She knew my name…because I did something…and I was known for it.  In that small moment, I mattered…even if only in my own heart.

We all want to be somebody…and in the chaos of our lives, we forget that we matter.  We forget that nobody is actually a nobody because everybody is a somebody to someone…it is just a matter of remembering that God doesn’t always let us see who that someone is.

Maybe it is your kids…maybe it is someone at work or in Bible study…maybe it is people who read your many Facebook updates.  But there IS someone watching you because your impact on this world MATTERS to them.

And there is someone else to whom you matter enough to die for…and no matter what is happening or what is hurting, He sees you.

He loves you just as you are.

He knows your name…and whispers it softly throughout the day as He smiles down at your uplifted face.

You are a someone…and if you think you aren’t, email me.  binaspad at yahoo dot com

...they agreed to THIS, at least...

PS – I know you are dying to know…but no. Tosca hasn’t tweeted me since. *sigh*

Linking up with Jen

Pop over and see what’s up at her place? 

Looking up, as always…



4 thoughts on “Chaos Run Amuck ~retreat, part 2~”

  1. I totally got the Dirty Dancing reference and I know all the above celebrities except for this Tosca and Ted. Who are these people? But they knew you and that is AMAZING!

    And that is so cool that you got to speak to such a great group of women. Where was this and did I know you were a speaker??

    1. Hi Jen!!

      The fact that you got the Dirty Dancing quote somewhat makes up for the fact that you ask who Ted and Tosca are…somewhat. (He has written a number of titles, The Circle Series being the most popular…she has written two titles, Havah (about Eve) and Demon. *sigh* I guess now others won’t need to ask…hee hee)

      Our church had our women’s retreat this weekend and I was one of three speakers chosen to tell Esther’s story. I got the first chunk, when she went from simple girl to harem girl to queen. It was awesome because I really didn’t like any of what God wanted me to talk about…and yet when I watched what happened with the group as I shared, I was over-joyed and oh so blessed. Will invite you next time!! 🙂

  2. Love this entire post so much and love you even more if possible!!!! I have Jackie Chan’s biography which is one of the most interesting stories ever.

    You are somebody! God’s greatest treasure and my friend. :O)

  3. My celebrity moments are never pretty. I blubber and gasp and gape wide-eyed. Embarrassing.

    {Did you know Tosca Lee was Mrs. Nebraska in 1996? Yep. The very same Nebraska that I call home.}

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