I am not so sure why I am having such issues trying to write today! It could be that my brain is in a fog due to the cold that I can feel trying to take up residence within me…it could be that it is Monday and the weekend just wasn’t long enough…it could be that I have writing projects that I need to get finished and the thought of writing brings up intense feelings of guilt for avoiding them for so long…and it could be that there is just nothing to write about. (Ok the last one just makes me laugh out loud.)
I have been at a cross-roads of sorts within. You may know it, having been there a time or two yourself.
Standing At The Crossroads*
God points and says “Go“.
I look to where His finger points and then back at Him.
I point to where He just pointed and throw Him a questioning look,
as if the complex directions were unclear.
He nods with the simplicity of knowing He was heard just fine.
I look again and then ask “You mean…THERE?”
Patiently, He nods again and lifts His hand once more,
as if to ensure no further confusion on the subject.
I wrinkle up my face as I turn my eyes back down the path He has chosen
and just stand there.
….and I breathe.
I look back to see if maybe He has softened the look on His face,
signaling a change of mind.
He just stands there, hands at His side, His eyes on mine…drilling me ever so gently.
“You know. It’s, uh… Yeah, see… it is dark over there.”
He moves His eyes to the shadowed distance beyond us and nods softly.
“You know…I never much liked the dark…“
He chuckles and whispers “Yeah. I know.”
I laugh too, as I realize that was a dumb thing to say to the One who made me
…but smile, happy that He answered me anyway.
We stand like that for a long time.
Then, I suddenly feel the warmth of His arms on my shoulders…the tenderness of His breath on my hair…the strength in His presence.
I sigh and straighten my shoulders under His touch.
“Ok. Let’s go.“
Where does God want you walking today?
What holds you back…and what is it that would help you move forward?
Listening to Aaron Shust‘s “Give Me Words To Speak” while looking up as always…
* an original poem written by Sabine Galvan